BRO. AUDEE VILLARAZA:

Who among you came with your family here today? May I ask you to tell your family member: “I’m grateful for you.”

You better mean it. Say, “I’m blessed by you.”

I want to give everybody a fair warning before I read the Word.

The message that we’ll talk about is very difficult. It’ll not be easy for some of you to hear and much more for us to preach to you.

If you think that Talk 1 and Talk 2 were like a walk in the park, Talk 3 is more like a walk in Jurassic Park. It will unearth and unleash some pre-historic wounds of your life. Maybe some of you might even have questions after the talk.

But if you lean on God, ask His guidance, and ask the Holy Spirit to move into this place to receive His Word with love and humility, I guarantee you that it’ll change the way you think about your family life.

We’re reading a passage from Matthew 1:18-20, 24-25. It’s a story about the family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

18 This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about[a]: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. 19 Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet[b] did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. 20 But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus,[c] because he will save his people from their sins.” 22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: 23 “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel”[d] (which means “God with us”). 24 When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. 25 But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

Stages of Marriage

How many of you, when you read the Bible, like to put yourself in the situation and imagine that you’re there?

That’s how I do it when I read the Bible.

From time to time, you’ll stumble upon a word that is not familiar to you. One word that I noticed while reading the passage is the word betrothed.

Maybe you’ve heard of it but do you actually use that? We don’t use it, right? It’s an ancient word. In Jesus’ time, it was a word that was widely used.

Let me explain this…

There are two stages of marriage that we know now:

In the time of Jesus, there was a middle stage called Betrothal.

It was in between our Stages 1 and 2:

Betrothal would last for at least a year. People believed that during this time, the man and woman were already husband and wife– even if they were not yet living together as a wedded couple.

Here’s what makes it more interesting. St. Matthew says that when Mama Mary got pregnant, it was at the time of the Betrothal.

How God Sees Marriage

In the past two weeks, we’d been saying that Jesus was born into a family.

Because that’s how God would bless the world. He wants Jesus to be born into your family.

But just to give you a little evidence that Jesus was also born into a marriage, it says in Matthew 1: 18 to 20:

Question: If they weren’t married yet, why the need to divorce? All that Joseph needed to do was call off the wedding. But no. In their eyes, they were already

God sees the family as important because it will bless the world. But here’s how we get deeper. Jesus, the Son of God, the One He would say “This is my beloved Son… Who is highly favored, that if you want to go to Me, you have to go through Him…” This Jesus Christ was born into a marriage…

What is my point? God will use marriage to bring Jesus into your life. God sees marriage as important. I pray that you realize how important marriage is.

Close your eyes now. Put your hand on your chest. Say this with me:

“Jesus, I need this message. I need Your Word. I want to be transformed today by Your love and by Your wisdom. So, speak. Your servant is listening. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.”

One more time, let’s sing:

Thy Word is a Lamp unto my feet and a Light unto my path.

Everybody, please welcome my brother in Christ, Tony Valenzuela, onstage. Give him some love.

BRO. TONY VALENZUELA:

God wants to give you this one big message:

I pray that you hold that in your heart as we talk about families and marriages.

Today, we want to share with you five messages about family. I will share the first three messages. Later, Doc Ryan Capitulo will share the fourth message, and Bro. Alvin Barcelona will come with the fifth message.

Jesus wants to be born in your family — not just every Sunday and not just when you pray the Rosary. Jesus wants to be born in your relationships, in your work, and in your education.

Jesus wants to be born in everything that you do in life.

I’m not against the tenet Put Jesus first— because it’s right that He should be the primary. But it’s a different perspective to know that God doesn’t just want to be the first. He wants to be the center.

Make Jesus the Center.

I’d like to introduce Meanne, my ex-girlfriend of eight years and now my wife of nine years. She is from Tuguegarao. She was raised by her grandmother. She went to Manila to study college and stayed with her mom in Tondo.

I never realized that she would be my wife someday. Initially, I wanted to be a priest so I entered a seminary. But God had other plans. I left the seminary. Don’t ask me why because it’s a long story. I should create a separate talk for it.

When we got married, I already had everything set– including having children. I wanted twins. During the Coronavirus Disease (COVID) Pandemic, we worked to have a baby. The Pandemic was a good time to have a baby since we were all at home.

Meanne got pregnant but this first pregnancy didn’t push through. We had our second pregnancy–but it also failed. Same with our third pregnancy. We were losing hope to the point it was breaking our spirits.

We asked God, “Do you still want us to have a family? Why did we have to get married in the first place if we can’t have kids?”

We got pregnant for the fourth time. We were hopeful because, in Meanne’s womb, the baby’s heartbeat was very strong at 10 weeks.

But as I was sitting there while my wife was having an ultrasound, the doctor came out and told me, “Anthony, sorry but we lost your baby.”

It was our fourth miscarriage.

After that, we asked the Lord again, “What are your plans for us? Do You still want us to serve?”

We felt incomplete because our dreams were not being fulfilled at the time we wanted them to.

But today, we continue to serve at The Feast and we continue to connect with our leaders, friends, and family. And we’ve realized that we already have a family.

We may not have kids yet on Earth, but we have four kids in Heaven praying for us. We look forward to the day that we see them face-to-face.

Here’s a message I want to share: If you have God in your marriage and in your family, you’re already whole. You just have to be open to God for Him to come into your life. He is the center.

I’d like to take this opportunity to invite you to attend the Light of Jesus Family Lux Retreat for couples.

Meanne and I attended a Lux Retreat and we were blessed. Because the Retreat reinforced that we have to bring God into our marriage, into our family, to see that we’re already complete. Even if we went through four miscarriages.

The question now is: “Lord, what do you want us to do?”

The more we keep serving, the more we keep opening ourselves to others around us, we’ve realized that this Community is our family. The Feast is family.

Our loved ones and friends supporting us are family.

Married life even as a vocation is already hard and a struggle on its own. Whether you choose married life, religious life, or single life, nothing comes easy. Each has its process. That’s why it’s called a vocation because God is calling you to join His Cross-bearing in this life.

But here’s the thing. Even Joseph and Mary went through struggles. We thought that just because they were the Holy Family, everything was smooth sailing for them. But no. Jesus came at a time when Israel was in turmoil.

But when a crisis happens, sometimes the very people who were supposed to be your biggest allies become your biggest enemies.

I’d been to Nazareth. It’s a small town. During Jesus’ time, Nazareth was a small town that had about 20 to 50 families.

I could imagine that if there was a rumor, it would reach all ears.

Imagine what people would say if they heard that Mary was pregnant while still not living with Joseph.

They would probably hate Mary and sympathize with Joseph.

God Knows What You Need

While the people meant well, it was so easy to create and spread stories even they didn’t know the whole story.

Worse, they were going through a difficult time.

Imagine, along with the gossips, Herod ordered the killing of babies who were two years old and younger.

Backstory: Herod, King of Judea, found out about baby Jesus being called King of Jews. Fearing he would be dethroned, Herod wanted to kill the baby. So, he sent three kings to find out where Jesus was. The magi found Jesus with His parents.

Knowing Herod’s plan, the magi, however, did not go back to Herod. Furious, Herod ordered the killing of all children under two years old.

To keep Jesus safe, Joseph and Mary escaped, bringing Jesus to Egypt which was outside the dominion of Herod.

But Joseph received a message in his dream:

The Lord’s provision was timely.

It was a chaotic time, but God came into the picture.

From the start, we know that Joseph and Mary already had God in their family.

Dear Friends, God provides for our family’s needs before we know we need them. Hold on to that. If you think you’re in a rough pat(h right now, God knows what you need even before you approach Him.

To continue our Talk, welcome Doc Ryan Capitulo (Builder, Feast Manila, who’s a Medical Doctor in Obstetrics and Gynecology).

BRO. RYAN CAPITULO:

Good morning, my dear Feast Family!

Okay, our fourth message for each one of you today is this: God wants your family to be strong and whole– solid, intact.

Because God knows that when families break, the whole of society breaks.

Sadly, we are seeing so many signs of families that are not strong and not whole. Let me share with you three signs.

THREE SIGNS FAMILIES ARE WEAK

Globally, 30% to 50% of marriages fail.

From 2015 to 2020, 200,000 married couples in the Philippines separated.

Don’t get me wrong, some couples should separate especially if there is abuse involved. If you are part of a broken family, I assure you that God is so much bigger than your brokenness.God is much more powerful than statistics.

Bro. Alvin Barcelona, Bro. JB Rodriguez, and Bro. Adrian Panganiban all came from broken families– but we can see in each one’s life, the power of God is at work. Now, they are blessing many families with their service to our church.

According to our Philippine Statistics Authority, 15% of our population are live-in couples. Even in my practice as an OB- GYN, I would see a couple of pregnant women who are not married and who would tell me that they are living-in with their partner. Of course, I encourage them to get married if they love each other, especially now that they are having a baby.

Sometimes, I am tempted to give them a discount if they get married. I haven’t tried it yet.

I was happy that two weeks ago, I had this patient who came back to me for her regular pre-natal check-up.

She told me, “Doc, I have a surprise for you. My partner and I got married!

We had a simple church wedding. We were inspired by what you said.”

Here at The Feast, we had attendees and some servants who were living-in together for many years. But when they had a deeper relationship with God, they got to know Jesus more deeply, they were inspired to get married in church.

They realized that marriage is a covenant between the husband and wife, and God.

Also, separation is three times higher for cohabitating couples than married couples.

This is something close to my heart. For me, abortion is one of the greatest injustices in the world. I consider it a huge blessing that abortion is illegal in the Philippines.

Whenever I attend medical or pro-life conferences abroad, many people praise our country for not allowing abortion.

In the United States where abortion is allowed, almost 3,000 abortions are performed every single day.

In Europe, over 90% of unborn children diagnosed with Down Syndrome are aborted.

BRO. ALVIN BARCELONA:

This talk speaks about how God works through marriage between a man and a woman. But real talk: Families go through problems.

As mentioned by Doc Ryan earlier, the basic problem of each family is lack of commitment.

That’s why during weddings, couples declare their commitment.

Experts say that the first seven years of marriage are crucial. That’s why the term seven-year itch.

But that was back then. Now, it seems that it has been reduced to seven-month itch or seven-day itch.

During the honeymoon period, the wife always waits for the husband to come home. Once the husband is home, the wife welcomes him and hands him his slippers while their dog barks on the side. A few years into the marriage, the dog is the one welcoming the husband while the wife is the one barking.

Three Stages of Marriage

Trials happen in marriages. Why? This is where commitment comes in.

I learned from Bro. Bo Sanchez that marriages come in three stages:

1. Honeymoon: This is the phase where everything is
2. Reality: This is the stage where you go through
3. Maturity: This is when you make a commitment based on decisions–not based on

In marriage, we will learn that it’s not all about feelings but about decisions.

There are days when you’re super in love with your spouse and there are days when you’re not.

Marriage is like your job. Even if you don’t feel like going to work, you will do so because it’s your commitment.

In Psychology, it’s called Dream. But make no mistake: That dream will go through Disillusionment. Ultimately, you will then come to a Decision if you will continue with it or not.

Our spiritual life also goes through stages:

1. Joyful = Christmas
2. Sorrowful = Good Friday
3. Glorious = Easter Sunday

You cannot reach the Glorious stage without experiencing the Sorrowful stage first.

Some people, however, go through Joyful

to Sorrowful but never reach Glorious. They stay in the Sorrowful stage.

You have to win the Sorrowful stage to taste the Glorious stage.

If you’re in the Sorrowful stage, you must decide to go through thick and thin– because the Lord has a plan for you. Something good will happen to you.

There is forever in God because He sees our relationship with Him like a marriage. God used marriage to describe His love for us. In the Bible, there are plenty of analogies about God’s love for us.

The story of Hosea is one such example.

Hosea was a prophet, and He was asked by God to marry Gomer, a prostitute. Gomer continued to be unfaithful even if they were married already.

Despite that, God would always tell Hosea to bring Gomer back home.

This shows that even if Israel was unfaithful to God, He was faithful to Israel.

That’s why God wants our relationships to have faithfulness and commitment.

The married life has always been God’s template.

The book of Genesis started with a married couple: Adam and Even. Even if they disobeyed God, He never gave up on them. When Adam and Eve had children, God continued to be with them even if they disobeyed Him.

In the last book of the Bible, Revelation, God calls Himself the bridegroom and the Church as His bride.

Revelation also says that one day, the bridegroom and the bride will be united in peace.

The First Miracle

Marriage is so important that even the first miracle of Jesus happened at a wedding in Cana where He turned water into wine:

In marriage, the husband and the wife will go through droughts. Your funds will run out. Your health will fail. Your emotions will dry out.

But when you go through droughts, you don’t give up. During the wedding in Cana, the wedded couple ran out of wine. How were they able to have wine? What was their secret? It was Jesus and His mother, Mary. So, what is the secret when you feel drained? Go to Mama Mary. Go to Jesus. The supply will come back.

In the old days, the best wine was brought out first during celebrations. When the best wines had been fully consumed and the guests would still like to drink, the host would bring out the less expensive wines. They’re so drunk they won’t notice the wine was the cheap kind.

In this particular wedding, however, the master of ceremonies commended the bridegroom for bringing out the best wine until the end. What the master of ceremonies didn’t know was that the wine came from Jesus.

Married couples thought that their wedding and their honeymoon were the best years of their lives already. And the succeeding years are already drab.

That’s not true.

When you feel that you have nothing left in you, go to Jesus.

You’ll be surprised that the best is yet to come in your marriage, in your family, in your health, and in your finances.

The best days are not behind you. They are in front of you.

In this picture, you see a married couple, and between them is Jesus.

You’ve heard the story of Joseph and Mary. It was not a walk in the park– but they were able to survive. Why? Because Jesus was in their center.

With Jesus, it’ll be complete. Strong, powerful, and happy.

Let’s put Jesus at the center of our family, of our homes, of our marriages, and of our lives. Amen.

Love Offering

BRO. JC LIBIRAN:

It’s all about You, Jesus.

Everybody, give Your glory and praise to God as we make Him the center of our lives. I want you to tell the people around you: “God is writing your story. God is writing the story of your family.”

We just want to give you some announcements (details in The Feast Bulletin) as we also prepare for our best gift to God because as we all know, friends, whatever we give, it’s covering our expenses here, our Feast Bay Area District especially when we have this Grand Feast. And we know as well that when we give, it’s also supporting our Mercy Ministries.

Make sure you write your Prayer Requestsand Thanksgiving for Answered Prayers on your Love Offering envelope.

Bring your Offering before God. Bring before God your family and prayers for your family– just as I bring my family to Him.

Say this prayer after me:

Lord, Thank You for blessing me. Thank You for blessing us. Bless me more. Bless us more so that we can love more.

In Jesus’ Name, we pray. Amen.

Give your best to God today.

BRO. DIDOY LUBATON:

Thank you, Bro. JC.

Whenever we receive a learning when we get to experience something, we would like to give you that opportunity to digest it, to bounce it off to one another.

I’d like to invite you to form a group of two or three and share about experience today.

Do you have a family picture on your phone? Show it to your seatmate and ask each other: What are your hopes and dreams for your family?

Let us pray for your dreams for your family:

In the Name of the Father, of the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Father in Heaven, we pray for our spiritual family gathered here today as we share hopes and dreams.

We’ve learned so much about marriage, family, and how You want to be born into our family again and again.

And as we put You in our center, we also offer to You our hopes and our dreams. In Your perfect time, in Your perfect will, we surrender all of these to You. If these are for us, please grant them to us. And not, within Your plan, I’m sure we trust You, Lord, that You have something better for us.

We pray for each other for perseverance, for hope, for breakthroughs in our family. We pray Lord that You provide for us, give us Your healing, Your strength, and all Your spiritual favor to come to our families. We trust in You and we Thank You. And as we prepare to receive You through the Holy Eucharist, we open up our hearts, our lives, our everything to You.

Take Your throne. Take Your place in our lives.

We trust in You and we Thank You. This is our united prayer In Jesus’ Name we pray. Amen.

This story was first published in the Feast Family Online News Magazine
Published by THE FEAST (August 25, 2024)