Talk

REV. FR. BOB McCONAGHY:

Merry Christmas, Everyone!

It’s a season of preparation for love.

Our Lord loves to comfort us by forgiving us. But He also loves to challenge us — and sometimes, to disturb us.

In these Three Habits of Love, we realize that love demands a sacrifice.

Jesus says: “When you give to the Lord, do not announce it with trumpets like the hypocrites do in the synagogues, and in the street corners, looking for applause. Rather, let not your left hand know what your right hand is doing — and your Father who sees you in secret will reward you.” Let’s take a look at these three beautiful habits of loving:

1.   GIVING

Suppose that you have a boyfriend whom you met just a few weeks ago. He’s good-looking and charming. He invites you to dinner in one of the most expensive restaurants in Metro Manila.

He says, “I’ll meet you there at 8:00.”

You get all dolled up. You go to the restaurant and when he opens the door and lets you in, he gives you a red rose. While he’s guiding you to your seat, someone is taking a video of what’s happening. He sits and sings one of your favorite songs to you– There’s a Place for Us…Tears are welling in your eyes.

You tell yourself, “My God, this guy is so much more than what I thought he would be. Oh, am I lucky. Thank You, Lord, for bringing him into my life. Praise You Lord.”

False Humility

You went home and dreamt about it all night. The next day, you ran into his sisters, who said to you, “Oh, you met my brother last night. Did he give you a rose? Did he have cameras there?

You said, “Yeah.”

The sister said, “My brother broke up with his ex over a month ago. She told him, ‘You’re not romantic enough. You don’t do little surprising things to make me feel important.’ He then told me, ‘I have a date with this girl I met a few weeks ago, and I’m going to perform there. I’m going to put it all up on Instagram so my ex can see that she lost the best guy she could have.”

You want to choke him, right? He was a phony, filled with pride. It’s called narcissism, which means “It’s all about me.”

There are people like that, aren’t there? It’s all about me.

And so, they’ll brag, and they’ll say, “Did you see what I did? You know what? The group could have not done it without me. I was really the leader of the group.”

By the way, if you think you’re a good leader, and you look back over your shoulder, and nobody’s following you, you’re just taking a good walk.

But a lot of people will brag about what they do: “I’m the best in what I do.

Don’t I sing well? Don’t I preach well?”

People would say, “Oh, yes, you’re wonderful!” Meanwhile, they’re saying to themselves, “What a bragger.” Self-praise stinks.

And then there are those who have false humility.

A lot of people can think humility, and walk around looking very holy. Believe me, I’ve met people who are the life of the party who were very humble. I’ve met shy people, but full of pride.

That boyfriend was filled with pride. Be careful of pride. It’s all about getting the reward, the applause, the notoriety, and the position. But the Lord calls you to be a ninja.

I asked my driver, Nico, “What is a ninja?”

He said, “A ninja is somebody who does things in the shadows.”

You want people to be drawn to you. Be a ninja. Be generous with them in the shadows.

2. PRAYING

Jesus asked us to be careful when we pray, that we don’t do it so that other people can see– because that’s what the Scribes and the Pharisees did.

The good practicing Jews would pray three times a day– morning, mid-afternoon, and at sunset.

The Pharisees would position themselves in the synagogues or in street corners so that there would be a lot of passersby.

People would think: “Oh, wow! Is he holy!”

What does our Lord say about them? They’re not holy at all because they’re looking for applause. They’re looking for their reward.

The Lord is calling us to much more — to intimacy. Not to do things for people to see. Whenever we do something, do it to praise the Lord. In private or in public, may it always be the same: giving God the praise– “Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done.”

You and I are called to silence– which can be very uncomfortable. There can be a lot of noise in here.

But Jesus says: Come to me, if you’ve had a bad day or a good day. Come to me if you’re frightened, if you’re worried, if you’re fearful. Come to me. I’ve seen it all. I’ve been with you all day. Open it up to me. Let me hug you.

He calls us to childlikeness in prayer– realizing there’s always something new to discover.

A lot of people will say: “The Lord said that I should go to my inner room.

That means I don’t have to go to church. I can just go to my own room and pray.”

But that’s not what the Lord meant. He meant to go to the inner room– in your heart. Because that’s where you find the Lord. Either in public or in the silence of your room. God loves you so much that the only one He sees in this big crowd right now is you. That’s how much He loves you.

Today, we choose God:

St. Benedict said: “To choose God is to become aware that you are known and loved beyond anything your imagination can conceive.”

Known and loved — before anyone you thought saw you. Before anyone knew your name.

3. FASTING

In Jesus’ time, fasting meant you didn’t eat at all for the entire day.

Pope Leo suggested considering doing Ember Days. An ember day is a day of fasting. He’s making the big challenge because of the problems in the world today– with war, hunger, and injustice.

He’s saying: “If you’re able, you don’t have to tell anybody: Don’t eat at all on Fridays.”

That’s the traditional way of fasting. But sometimes, fasting can be done just for people to see you’re doing it. And what it is really is to manipulate you. They play the victim.

They’ll say: “Oh, I’m so sick. I’m suffering so much. Can you help me?”

They’re always in need. If you don’t notice them, they’re going to blame you for their suffering. That’s dishevelling (messing up) yourself.

Seek the Lord and tell Him what you’re going through, and He’ll help you.

But don’t rely on others. You can’t make anyone happy. You can only make yourself happy in relation to them. Never play the victim. Don’t manipulate people.

I’m going to suggest the best kind of fasting.

I greeted you “Merry Christmas!” at the beginning of my talk because it’s a long, beautiful season here in the Philippines.

Think of how much you spend on lunch? How about you save the amount you spend for lunch every Friday and put the money in a rice bowl every night, and with a lit candle, say: “Lord, this is my fasting for the day.”

Do that every Friday until Christmas. On Christmas morning, you will go up to your room, and you’ll open that gift of money, put it in an envelope, and say: “Lord, guide me to the person to whom you want me to give this– someone who is poor.”

You’ll find one quickly because our Lord will point that person out. Simply go to that person. Introduce yourself and ask his name.

Say: “Merry Christmas! God bless you.”

You will see that you have changed that person’s life by your fasting. Again, the three habits of loving are:

1. Giving. Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Don’t broadcast what you’re doing.
2. Praying. Seek intimacy with our Lord. He loves you so much. Allow Him to embrace you.
3. Fasting.  Making a difference in other people’s lives. If you do it that way, His joy will be yours, and your joy will be complete.

God bless. Take good care.

Surrender

BRO. ALVIN BARCELONA:

Let me conclude this powerful talk with this question: Is it intrinsically bad or wrong when people compliment you?\

We need to strike a balance. We are

taught to be more affirming, more encouraging.

Husband, try to ignore your wife’s new haircut, and she’ll start ignoring you. In schools, teachers are trained to be more encouraging. Hence, we give honors, certificates, awards. In the workplace, the team becomes more productive when they are affirmed. Even in society, we need positivism amid the negativities.

Last year, I was a guest panelist at a Social Media Summit of the Church.

In an open forum, someone asked if it is right to post your good acts on social media.

Earlier, we heard that the Bible said not to let your left hand know what your right hand does.

Here, however, is my answer to that question: I believe that you should post your good acts.

British philosopher Edmund Burke said: “It is sufficient for good men to do nothing, for evil to triumph.”

For you to kill or defeat a bad idea, you must offer something good. Show the good acts. After all, part of the Sermon on the Mount, which we also discussed a few talks ago, was about being the light of the world.

Matthew 5: 14-16:

It’s not bad to show your good deeds so that you can glorify your Father in Heaven. It’s all about intentions or motives. It should all point to God. It’s not bad to praise, to congratulate, or to thank people.

Praise or Pride?

Filipinos are known for being falsely humble. When someone commends us, we usually say, “I just got lucky.”

The right response, however, should be: “Thank you.”

You may also add: “Praise God.”

But if we do well because we are waiting for commendation, that’s a red flag.

You might start doing good just to be praised. You might start doing good just to be noticed.

You start doing good not to praise God but for people to praise you.

The habits of love which Fr. Bob presented to us are all-powerful–if you do them out of love. But they can easily turn into habits of pride.

The basic rule is that we do good things out of love for God and His people.

Here’s a warning. It can also be that we associate ourselves with God– but it doesn’t come from our hearts.

For example, during prayer meetings. You might thank God for blessings– such as a job promotion, or travel abroad, which is good. But check your intentions because you might be bragging, instead of praising God.

Sometimes, we tell our churchmates to pray for a co-servant because he is in an illicit relationship. Do we really pray for that person– or we just want to gossip?

Recently, journalist Randy David said in his article in the Philippine Inquirer:

“We are now seeing a culture of self-praise because of social media.” We post everything that we do– from what we eat to where we go, to our new clothes.

At face value, there is nothing wrong with those.

What, however, is your motive? Sometimes, we fail to be sensitive to the plight of others. We post our blessings without considering that others are suffering– for instance, in the flood brought by heavy rain or storm.

Timing is everything. There is a right time to post. We should also be careful in pointing fingers. When social media was born, everyone became an expert on something.

Why Point Fingers?

May I remind you that in the Philippines and everywhere else, people are innocent until proven guilty. Why do you point fingers? Do you want to correct the wrong system, or do you just want to prove that you are better than others?

Unless you have enough evidence, be careful with pointing your fingers. Leave the issue to the experts. In the meantime, you can pray.

In the end, real motives or intentions are hard to see because they’re all coming from one’s heart. Let’s be careful to judge. In the end, it’s only the Father who sees your heart. It’s only God who truly knows what’s in your mind and in your heart.

I was a Literature teacher many years ago. I love this story:

In Old England, there was a good theater actor. He was popular. His shows were always sold out. But in one particular performance, which was a one-man act, there were only two persons in the audience. The first one was in front, and the other one, who seemed to be sleepy, was on the balcony.

The director suggested canceling the show– but the actor said that the show must go on.

The actor had a wild idea. He fooled the production team. He said that the one in front was the Duke of England. Hence, everyone put their best foot forward. The actor gave the best performance of his life because he made himself believe that the Duke of England was watching him.

The show ended. The one on the balcony was sleeping while the man at the front stood and applauded the performance. The actor went home happy.

The story didn’t end there. The following day, the actor heard knocks on his door.

He opened the door, and to his surprise, he saw the royal guards.

They said, “You’re being called to the palace.”

Commitment

Yesterday, I gave a talk in a parish in Makati. I was nervous because there were a few attendees. But I always remind myself that no matter how big or small my audience is, I should give my best– not because of who is watching me, but because of the One who is truly watching me.

I pray that at the end of my life, I can also walk on the red carpet and someone is clapping for me and saying: ” Alvin, when you were giving your best, even when no one was watching you, even when no one was clapping their hands for you, I was there watching you. I saw you.

We feel bad when we are being ignored. You feel bad when your social media post has been in your feed for a week and got only one like — from you. You work hard in the office, but someone else got promoted. You are an obedient child, but your parents always give attention to your sibling.

You can’t help feeling depressed. It’s not true, however, that no one notices you. God sees you. He watches you not to see your mistakes but to clap His hands and tell you, “You are my son. You are my daughter. I am proud of you. I love you.”

I’m going to invite you to worship the One who sees us.

Jesus could have easily defended Himself when He was falsely accused of blasphemy and when He was put to death.

But during those moments, Jesus had in mind: “My Father knows what is happening and that’s what matters most.”

When we worship God, we do not mind what’s going on. Know that at that moment, when you enter into God’s Presence, it’s just you and Him. That’s what matters most.

I pray that by God’s grace, His good works will shine through us unworthy as we are in our homes, in our workplace, in our faith life, in our financial life, in our health life, in our giving, in our praying, in our fasting, in everything that we do. May we glorify God, and may we do things out of love for God and His people. We offer this to our God, who sees our hearts, who sees us all.

This we pray in the Mighty Name of Jesus. Amen.”

So, the actor went with the guards. When they arrived at the palace, the actor saw red carpet –rolled out for him.

While walking on the red carpet, he saw a familiar face.

The man said, “I was the man who watched you last night. I am the Duke of England. I came from a long trip, and my driver was sleepy. I bought the entire show so that my driver can sleep. I was also planning to just sleep. But when I saw you giving your best, even if only one man was watching you, I was so amazed that I called for you. Kneel, and I will make you the royal actor in the entire kingdom.

This story was first published in the Feast Family Online News Magazine
Published by THE FEAST (September 7, 2025)