Talk

Talk 7:

BO SANCHEZ: When I was 17 years old— not too long ago— I met, for the first time, one of the biggest spiritual mentors in my life. His name:

Mike Joseph. And Mike Joseph looks like Saddam Hussein. I would travel with him and every time we would travel, he would always have a difficult time with

Immigration. We would be lined up and the Immigration officer would just spot him, pull him aside— so we needed an extra hour because they would bring him to an ante-room for some questioning.

He’s in heaven now and for the first time in his life, he has no problems with Immigration.

He holds a very special place in my heart.

Courting Style

Mike Joseph— spiritual giant, a man who founded many, many ministries, really close to God.

As a 17-year-old kid, I came up to him, and I said, “Mike, can you be my spiritual mentor?”

And he said, “Yes.”

I was so delighted. We sat down together for the first time, and he started asking me questions— about me, what I was doing.

And then he popped this question: “Bo, do you have a girlfriend?”

I smiled, and I said, “Yes! Just a few days ago, it was my birthday, and she said, ‘Yes!’”

I told him the cute story of how it happened:

She was a member of our Community, was a member of the Music Ministry, I had a crush on her.

And a few days before my birthday, I said, “Can we meet in the Pink Sisters’ Chapel* to pray?”

Style!

So, she agreed. And on my birthday, at the appointed time, we met. And her first question was, “Where are the others?”

I said, “Just the two of us.”

I escorted her into the chapel, we knelt, I held her hand, and then I prayed:

Lord, thank You, for this beautiful relationship that we are entering into.

Thank You for Your blessing. Amen.

You know, my eyes were closed, but I knew that she was staring at me with her eyes bulging out, her jaw on the floor.

And then after I said Amen, she said, “What just happened?” I said, “We’re now boyfriend and girlfriend.”

For some reason, she did not object. Style!

*The Pink Sisters is a society of contemplative nuns known as Holy Spirit Adoration Sisters

with a convent in Tagaytay City. The order was founded in Steyl, Holland, in 1896 by Saint Arnold Janssen who chose the color pink for the sisters’ habits because, in the words of Sister Mary Amatrix, “the rose-colored garment symbolizes the glowing love for the Holy Spirit.”

Calling…

So, I was telling the story to Mike. And Mike Joseph was just laughing and laughing, and then he tells me something unexpected.

He said, “Bo, I have a suggestion. At this age, at this season of your life, having an exclusive relationship will shrink your world— at a time when you should be expanding it. At this age, you should be learning new skills, developing your craft, shaping your character, traveling, meeting new people, having many friends, serving God, growing your spiritual life. That’s where you are. So, my suggestion is to give up your girlfriend— for the Lord.”

I was there, and I was looking at him, and I was listening, and I was nodding, “Uhmm, yeah, right, hmmm… Thank you, Mike. Thank you so much.”

I left the room and I told myself, “I will never talk to that guy again… How dare he say that! Hello, he does not understand my fellings.”

Right? Common, you know… And so, I did not really go back to Mike Joseph.

But then what he said was going to happen, happened.

….And a Call

A few days after, or a few weeks after, my girlfriend called me up. And I said, “Hi! How are you?”

“Fine.”

That was the first time I realized how to discern female vocabulary.

Fine does not mean fine. Right?

I said, “What’s wrong?”

She said, “You did not call me up yesterday. In fact, you did not call me up the other day. In fact, you did not call me the other day before the other day.”

And I said, “Why? What happened? What’s wrong?”

And she said, “Hello, you’re my boyfriend.”

“S-s-so?”

For the first time, I realized, at 17 years old, that I had to call up a girlfriend every day. And little by little, my world was shrinking… I want you to know, fast forward to the story, four years later, we broke up. Four years later. That’s when we realized we were both immature. We broke up…

What God Wants

(After we broke up) guess what I did…

I went back to Mike Joseph and I said, “Mike, I’m back. I did what you told me.”

A little bit late. Mike was just laughing and laughing. And then we continued our spiritual mentorship.

But I want to thank God…

Because after that, I had this long period of being single, and it was true– my world began to expand… I did so many things together with my friends.

We built ministries together— we built two big ministries: our publication ministry which became the biggest publishing ministry in the Philippines; we built Anawim for the abandoned elderly.

During that season, it was an amazing time for me. And I want you to know something. Now, 40 years later, I want to thank God that episode of my life happened really, really early. Why? Because I learned early enough that if God wants something from you, you do not resist. You do not fight.

You do not wrestle with Him.

You say, “Okay Lord, Your will be done.”

By the way, please don’t get me wrong. Let me balance the equation here. It’s not that I did not learn anything from my first romantic relationship. I did. I did learn lots.

All I am saying is this: In my desire to get the blessing that I want

— which was a girlfriend— God could not give me the blessing He wanted to give me — my maturity.

You see, when God says, “Give up this,” He wants to give you something better.

Very Early Lesson

So, I learned a lesson, very early, and for the rest of my life, I would always remember that lesson.

That when God comes to me and God says, “Give up your pride, give up your ambition, give up your money,” more and more I’ve come to say, “Okay, Lord, I’m gonna trust You.”

And I have become less stubborn. Instead of wrestling for my blessing, I. made a decision that I’m going to serve others, I’m going to trust God that He’s going to give me the best.

You know that story was 40 years ago, so, I’m going to give you a recent one.

Same theme. I’m an entrepreneur now– for the past 20 years.

God asked me to do something that was very unique—for an entrepreneur.

In every transaction I will get into, God told me this: “Don’t make it fair.”

That’s very difficult for an entrepreneur. In every transaction that I would enter into, I felt God was telling me, “Don’t make it fair. Make it unfair to you.”

In Tagalog, “Dapat lugi ka.”

Okay. And so, my staff should have more. My customers should have more.

Ako, dapat lugi.

I want you to know that when you do that, you’re not going to be rich right away. But then I realized that I may not be a billionaire tomorrow. But you know what, I’ll probably be the happiest entrepreneur around.

And I’ll end with this line: I have learned that I do not have to chase after my abundance because His abundance chases after me. I don’t have to insist.

I don’t have to find a way to grab the blessing. No.

What God is saying is: “You don’t have to go and get it and step on other people’s toes. No. You just trust me. Trust me, and my abundance will chase after you.”

DIDOY LUBATON: I would like to preach the message Let God Win. Does that mean I forget my dreams? Does that mean I forget what I want to achieve? Does that mean I have to let go of my girlfriend– or of my wife?

No. Got to let God win.

Jacob’s Wrestling Match–1

We’re going to talk about wrestling today. Today, we’re going to see the wrestling match, the grappling match between the character Jacob and his brother Esau. Jacob was grappling so much, wrestling so much with Esau.

Let’s see the timeline of Jacob’s wrestling career. You have to remember, all his life, Jacob was wrestling for a blessing.

What a hard life it would be if you’re always wrestling for a blessing.

There’s an alternative. In short, if you let God win, you will have the blessing.

But let me explain…

Jacob was fighting for the blessing. On his own terms—not on God’s terms.

That’s why he was having problems.

And if do things on your own terms, in the process, you hurt the people around you. And even you hurt yourself.

So, first, Jacob was wrestling with his twin brother Esau. Even when he was still in the womb of his mother, he was grappling with the heel of Esau. He wanted to be the first to come out. He wrestled for the birthright, getting it through a bowl of beans. There was a trickery that happened so that he got the birthright from Esau. And later, Jacob hijacked the blessing from Isaac, his father, who was going to bestow the blessing on Esau. And Jacob got it. It could have been all good right after. But no. When Esau learned about Jacob cheating on him again, he grew a great hatred for him. And he wanted to kill his twin brother.

These are ancient times, ancient context—don’t do that today.

A Lesson from Jacob’s Story

When there is a threat against your life, Fight, Fight, or Freeze is the usual stress response. (I’m a doctor, so I know).

Hearing that there was a threat against his life—from his own twin brother— Jacob chose to flee. Flight was his defense mechanism. And he was able to run away. He ran to his uncle Laban.

How sad and ironic. Remember, Jacob, he went to grab the birthright. He went to grab the blessing– he grappled for the blessing, wrestled for the blessing. And yes, he got it. But did he enjoy the blessing? Never. He never enjoyed it. Because he was always on the run from Esau’s wrath. He did not have it right.

My friend, here’s a good lesson: In life, it is possible to get what you want and not want what you got– because you got it the wrong way. You got the money but you’re not happy—because you got it the wrong way. You got the girl, you got the boy, but somewhere along the line, it doesn’t feel right—because something wrong happened along the way. And sometimes, blessing becomes our curse because of how we got it.

I want you to reflect on that, please. The only way to truly enjoy a blessing is to receive it according to God’s ways, and according to God’s time.

We want to submit to God’s sovereignty. We want to let Him win.

Jacob’s Wrestling Match–2

You think Jacob is done wrestling with Esau, his brother. No. He faces more wrestling opponents. And one, I mentioned his name earlier, is Laban. His uncle becomes his father-in-law. Here’s the story:

Jacob falls in love with a woman named Rachel—the daughter of Laban. He asks Laban for her hand in marriage. And Laban agrees but – that’s how the world works, sometimes there’s always a but—in return, he asks Jacob for a dowry. A very expensive dowry. He asks Jacob to work for him for seven long years—so that he can have Rachel.

“Because of love I will do anything for love,” Jacob says.

Jacob agrees with Laban’s term. Seven years! Some people cannot work in a company for even a year or two. Reality check.

But Jacob, out of his love for Rachel, he says Yes!

And so, after working for Laban for seven long years, he is ready to claim his prize. But something goes wrong. Here’s the text, from Genesis 29: 22-23:

During ancient times, brides wore veils – so you trust that’s the person you really intended to marry.

But there was deception. The swindler was swindled. It was a prank. The prankster got pranked. He met his match. Oh, how ironic. Wrestling match. Remember how Jacob disguised himself to deceive his father, Isaac. This time, it was Laban who disguised his daughter Leah to pretend that she was Rachel. And Jacob got a dose of his own medicine.

Have you ever met your match? Do you sometimes get a dose of your own medicine? Take a look. There are still parallels from the ancient times with what’s happening today. But the story is not done yet. Still full of ups and downs and wrestling matches …

Jacob’s Wrestling Match–2

You think Jacob is done wrestling with Esau, his brother. No. He faces more wrestling opponents. And one, I mentioned his name earlier, is Laban. His uncle becomes his father-in-law. Here’s the story:

Jacob falls in love with a woman named Rachel—the daughter of Laban. He asks Laban for her hand in marriage. And Laban agrees but – that’s how the world works, sometimes there’s always a but—in return, he asks Jacob for a dowry. A very expensive dowry. He asks Jacob to work for him for seven long years—so that he can have Rachel.

“Because of love I will do anything for love,” Jacob says.

Jacob agrees with Laban’s term. Seven years! Some people cannot work in a company for even a year or two. Reality check.

But Jacob, out of his love for Rachel, he says Yes!

And so, after working for Laban for seven long years, he is ready to claim his prize. But something goes wrong. Here’s the text, from Genesis 29: 22-23:

During ancient times, brides wore veils – so you trust that’s the person you really intended to marry.

But there was deception. The swindler was swindled. It was a prank. The prankster got pranked. He met his match. Oh, how ironic. Wrestling match. Remember how Jacob disguised himself to deceive his father, Isaac. This time, it was Laban who disguised his daughter Leah to pretend that she was Rachel. And Jacob got a dose of his own medicine.

Have you ever met your match? Do you sometimes get a dose of your own medicine? Take a look. There are still parallels from the ancient times with what’s happening today. But the story is not done yet. Still full of ups and downs and wrestling matches …

But I want you to take a pause. Does it still ring true to your life – our preaching comes from the truth, from the word of the Lord. The truth is still relevant and still present even up to this time.

This is a family of angry wrestlers. Laban was not done yet. He wasn’t done scheming on Jacob—as we read in Genesis 29: 26-27 NLT.

That’s a technicality and Laban used that to manipulate Jacob. He must be a very good worker. He must be a very high performer. Yeah? He must be a very cherished person in the industry of that place– but Laban was scheming enough, cunning enough to say, “Come work for me for another seven years.”

And what did Jacob do? He did—because of love. He did—he worked for Laban for another seven years. So, he worked a total of—7 +7= 14 years.

Again, in that ancient culture, having multiple wives was allowed.

In the next 20 years, Jacob and his father-in-law Laban, they would continue to deceive each other, wrestle with one another in many, many ways – what a horrible relationship.

By the way, this is not to be taken literally. Genesis is not a historical book—it’s not history. It’s a literary piece—it’s literature. Don’t take it literally. Read it not literally, but literarily.

So, let’s dive in, break down the story into pieces, and let’s get its essence – not word for word… As if it wasn’t bad enough, Jacob had four wives and all these wives were quarreling with one another. You know, who would be the matriarch, who would be the No. 1 love. And these wives even competed about how many babies they can produce. Horrible. It was hard. It was crazy. We just came from Abraham two weeks ago, and now we are talking about Jacob. You know, the Bible characters keep on getting worse and worse. Just like you and me— sometimes we can relate …

God Is Not Done Yet

Ending is Jacob would have 12 sons. And they too– those 12 sons– kept fighting one another other. And this is no surprise. From whom else would they inherit such behavior? The father, the in-law. There was so much scheming. There was so much deception. And there was so much fighting – but nobody’s winning.

Where did all these conflicts start? Where did this fighting start? It was from Jacob’s failure to trust God. He kept seizing the blessing – at the expense of others. He kept on having his own way—and not letting God have His way.

That’s the problem. We reap what we sow. When we take matters into our own hands, we hurt ourselves and, in the process, we hurt other people too.

Sometimes, God will allow you to get a taste of your own poison—to wake you up from the evil that you’re doing. But trust God’s heart. God is still good. God is still in charge.

Despite all these family feuds, wrestling matches within the family, even amid this toxicity, God formed the family into a nation. He chose the nation of Israel – out of this family mess— and the 12 sons of Jacob became the 12 tribes of Israel.

I want to preach hope today. The hope is even if you are in a mess, God is working through you, with you, and in you. God is working in you, through the good, the bad, and the ugly, to fulfill His purpose in your life. He’s not done with you yet. Difficulty? You let God win. He has a plan for you. Remember that.

Maybe this is one person’s take-home today. You’ve come here messed up. You’ve come here sinful. But you take home hope with you. That even in the wrestling matches of life, you end up winning.

How? You let God win.

Jacob’s Wrestling Match–3

So, finally: Jacob submits. But not right away. There was one more adversary. We were talking about Jacob with Esau, Jacob with Laban. But today, here, Jacob faces another match. As we continue with this story, this time, there was no trickery. Jacob met the Truth. And this is one of the strangest stories in the Bible– from Genesis 32:24-25 (above).

Who is this man? What does this wrestling match mean? At the end of the day, this person would be God Himself. Jacob wrestles with God. Wild. In our terms, it is like the grandest wrestling match of all time. What was this wrestling mean?

Again, it’s literature—not to be taken literally.

What does this wrestling mean? It’s not easy to deal with God. His purpose is for us to be fully alive, to live the life that He has promised. But remember that in our short-sightedness, we want something else—apart from God’s plan. And that destroys us and the people around us. And so, when we do not get our way, we fight God. That’s how problematic we are. We fight the source of the blessing. We try to free ourselves from God and force to have our own way—even if it hurts us in the process. In Tagalog, pumipiglas kasi tayo.

I’m a father of kids five and three years old—Hailey and Hosea. And I’m a father who just allows the kids to run around, be free.

Sometimes when I see they are in danger, I would call them, “Hailey, Hosea, wait… do not go there.”

And sometimes, I would see the kids, “WaaaAhh,” They get hurt despite my warnings.

The Way We Are

That’s just who we are. Sometimes, we’re not that mature yet—enough.

We’re children of God, anyway. And what a patient Father we still have.

If we weren’t sinners, if we didn’t want to have our own way—apart from God’s way—we wouldn’t have to wrestle. We would dance with the Lord. And we would walk in harmony with Him. But because we’re sinners, we fail. It’s already there – plan of God, God’s way. If we just follow, we will win. But we’re losing because we’re fighting. In Tagalog, nagmamarunong tayo. Nilalabanan natin Siya. Pumipiglas tayo. Kaya tayo natatalo.

Today, I’m encouraging you: Let God win. Stop fighting. Because when we fight, we end up getting wounded, and we also hurt the people around us.

Not because of God. But because we do it to ourselves. In our stubbornness,

we get hurt. Sometimes, God has to do something extreme just to get our attention.

Remember this: Sometimes, God has to break us where we are strongest so that we learn to trust him.

Jacob doesn’t want God to win. In that wrestling match, he keeps fighting God —even until the break of dawn.

So, God does this:

Why? Again, it’s literature, don’t take it literally.

Can a man unhinge a hip from its socket?

Wrestling Is Healing

This is very important for our understanding: Bible scholars would believe that God hit Jacob on the groin which is within the area of the hip. Because that’s the biological source of his fruitfulness. The seed of the man comes from the groin — and it got hurt. Because it wasn’t doing well for him.

And sometimes, again, God breaks us where we are strongest—so we can eventually listen to Him. Because we’re hurting ourselves so that we can learn to trust Him.

I want you to think this way: Sometimes, sin —it’s so deeply ingrained in us, in our lifestyle, that God has to do some spiritual surgery. And yes, it hurts.

I’m a doctor– I’ve done some surgeries. I’ve seen some surgeries done. Surgeries—minor and small—they leave scars, right? Surgeries are expensive, yes? But if you do not do the surgery, the whole being, the whole body may fail and get hurt. And that’s why, sometimes, God allows us to get hurt because God wants to heal us. He allows the hurting because His purpose is for our healing.

Jacob’s wrestling match with God was God healing him – and blessing him again. Jacob ends up with a limp.

Bishop Robert Barron, American prelate of the Catholic Church who serves as auxiliary bishop for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, said, “A holy person is someone who has a limp from a struggle with God.”

Wrestling… Or Dancing?

I want to give an illustration:

I was born in 1986. So, I grew up in the ‘90s. During that period,

the trend was ballroom dancing.

In parties, there were ballroom dancing clubs—there were parties at home, various places. It was common at that time to have dance instructors—or DIs.

If you really know me, you know that I don’t know how to dance. My left foot cannot align with my right.

So, imagine, when my mom and my dad would encourage me, “Go ahead Didoy, try to dance,” I was like, “Whaaat?”

I tried. And this is a wrestling match with the Dance Instructor. She was saying, “Do this… And her hands were so strong, and I was really fighting, and I was stumbling – because we were doing that simple Cha-cha, and I couldn’t get it.

I was hurting myself.

And she said something beautiful that I’ll never forget.

She said something like, “Didoy, sumunod ka lang. Huwag kang lumaban. Didoy, huwag mo nang labanan. Sundan mo na lang.

In English, “Didoy, don’t fight me. Flow with me.” So, I started trusting that she would not let me fall, and I trusted her maneuvers. I realized I did not want to be instructed, but I had to– so that I could eventually learn how to dance.

Wow! It felt so good. Yeah.

I’ll do anything to preach the Word of the Lord.

Surrender

Let’s stop the wrestling match now.

Stop fighting. Start flowing—with God. We need to tap up. In a wrestling match, it ends when someone taps out. It’s okay to tap out. It’s like waving the white flag in surrender: “I want to stop the battle. Let’s stop the war. Let’s sign the peace agreement. I’m tapping out.”

And at the end of this wrestling match, Jacob taps out. He does it in a very, very unique way. Jacob realizes that he is wrestling with God and he seeks a blessing from Him. Not from anyone else. So, here’s the Word, from Verses 26-29:

A very colorful life. Too many wrestling matches. Jacob must be so weary. After all the wrestling matches, so many heartaches. If you really go through the text, you’ll note: So hard life! And yet at the end, a nation was born out of him.

Jacob lets God win.

Jacob submits, taps out, and says, “You are God who provides.

You’re a God who heals. Oh, I’ll let You win.”

Wrestling with the Blesser

By asking God for His blessing, Jacob says, “I’m now willing to trust You, God. And I want to receive the blessing from You. The blessing will not come from me, anymore. I will not carve out my own blessing.”

He wrestled with the Blesser.

So, God blesses him and changes his name. God renames Jacob which meant Heal Grabber or Deceiver, to Israel which means One Who Struggled with God—and Wins.

When you let God win, you win too.

That’s it. You let God win, so that you win too. His win is your win.

Because He is for you—not against you. He builds you up than breaks you down. You got to trust Him.

Start dancing with Him. Start dancing rather than struggling and wrestling with Him. He wants to prosper you.

My dear friend, do you still have some strongholds in your life? Pride, unforgiveness, selfishness. Today, we say “Lord, I surrender these to you. I Let you win. I cannot win this battle all by myself. I cannot do it on my own.”

Maybe you’re struggling in your business, in your workplace, in your career, in your relationship, in your finances… Let God win.

Do not fall into breaking the integrity just so you can cheat your way out and get that money, get that fame, that fortune, get that status. And yet, you do not enjoy it. It reeks more havoc in your life. Stop pretending that you are winning.

Start trusting and you let God win so that you may win.

The Wounded Wins

Again, when you let God win, in the end, you win too. Is there something that God asks you and you got reminded today to surrender, to let go, and let God—to release, so God can give you His peace?

Two weeks ago, we talked about Abraham—very sinful man and yet God blessed the nations because of him. And if we thought that Abraham was so bad, now we realize that his grandson, Jacob, was worse.

I want you to see how God is. Know who God is. In generation upon generation, worsening of the generations, God could have abandoned Jacob and the whole family. But He

is a promise keeper. Remember that. God is a promise keeper.

God could have just walked away from giving you the blessing. Sobra ka na.

You’re too much. But in the story of Jacob, instead of abandoning him, God wrestles with him.

Do you feel that God is wrestling with you? It’s because God is not abandoning you. He wants you. He’s not done with you yet. And sometimes, it hurts. Because God wants you to heal. God will never give up on you.

That is why Jesus came. Instead of leaving us, God, Jesus, became man to wrestle with our sin and strangle death on the Cross.

Like Jacob, Jesus is the wounded One. But unlike Jacob who got wounded because of his sins, Jesus was wounded because of our sins. What a God we serve! What a loving God! Wow.

Let’s come into prayer. I want you to have that moment with Jesus right now. Come to Jesus now. All these years, God has been grabbing you.

Lord, many, many years I’ve been wrestling with You. And you could have just abandoned me. You could have just left me to die and get ruined. But here today, I remember that you are grabbing me—even if I want to run away from you. All these years, I’ve been wrestling with you. Today, I’m going to stop fighting You. I want to flow with You, Lord. I finally tap out and surrender. You win, Lord. You win. You win. Amen.